Friday, October 18, 2013
The Danger of More
"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off" - Gloria Steinem
To begin with, we have all heard the local parlance that 'more is never enough' which speaks volume sequel to the topic of our discussion today. By nature, man (woman inclusive) is an insatiable creature - meaning we always want to have more. Both antiquity and civilizations has proven this fact. In fact, history has it that it is one of the major sources of curiousity in inventions. However, success is good. We all want the taste of success. But success could be dangerous. Success oftentime breeds HUBRIS!
And many great men and women fell because of this subtle force on the plate of invincibility. So also is the desire for More. Yes i know you want to add new strategies and systems to your existing gameplan in your business in order to offer more satisfying experience to your customers. But don't develop an 'Entitlement mentality' all in the process of acquiring more. Entitlement mentality is when a person or persons want what someone else has and does not appreciate what they have and what they have earned nothing is ever enough. Guess what? Crimes, corrupt acts etc., could set in.
So, begin to ask yourself questions..... Get creative with what you have as you walk through the threshingfloor of Innovation.
Remember, change begins at home!
AkinTolaSpeaks
Monday, October 14, 2013
"The 100th Monkey Principle" Part 1
"Running is not Freedom!"
Last night while watching the movie "Django Unchained" starring Jamie Fox and Kerry Washington i stumbled on something interesting i will be sharing with us today. It wasn't from the movie, but the made me stumbled on it.
A fable or metaphor told by one Dr. Lyall Watson tells us of...... The Japanese monkey, Macaca Fuscata, who had been observed in the wild for a period of over 30years. In 1952, on the island of Koshima, scientists were providing monkeys with sweet potatoes dropped in the sand. The monkey liked the taste of the raw sweet potatoes, but they found the dirt unpleasant.
An 18-month-old female named Imo found she could solve the problem by washing the potatoes in a nearby stream. She taught this trick to her mother. Her playmates also learned this new way and they taught their mothers too. This "Cultural Innovation" was gradually picked up by various monkeys - before the eyes of the scientists. Between 1952 and 1958 all the young monkeys learned to wash the sandy sweet potatoes to make them more palatable. Only the adults who imitated their children learned this social improvement. Other adults kept eating the dirty sweet potatoes.
THEN SOMETHING STARTLING TOOK PLACE........
Guess what happened? Join me here tommorow as we shall be discussing the concluding part.
Until then...... Remember, change begins at home!
#AkinTolaSpeaks#
Friday, January 1, 2010
The Difference Between What Could Be and What Should Be Vision
The Difference Between What Could Be and What Should Be Vision
Do you ever think about that? Most people only see what could be. They say things like, “If our Organization/family did ___________ then it could be ____________.” We spend way too much time talking about what could be. Our Organization could be bigger. Our staff could be larger. Our relationship could be more understanding. Our family could be more giving, loving, caring and the list goes on.
Could. How much of our energy is focused on what could be.
Should. Now there is a word that “Should” be in our vocabulary this year and henceforth. When one has a vision for something, there is no Could. There is only Should. Could presents an Idea. Should casts a vision. Where Could presents an opinion, Should shows a way.
Should does not say “If” or “If only”. Should says, “Let’s do it. Let’s find a way. Whatever it takes.” Could sits on the sidelines and complains about what could be while Should carries the ball through obstacles and hurdles that most people would never consider approaching.
Should is passionate. Should is on fire. Should makes comfortable people uneasy. Should messes with the status queue. Should is Vision.
There is a significant difference between the outcome of Could and Should. When you begin to focus on Should, Could get’s lost. Could cannot operate in the same realm as Should. When Should is in operation, Could grows silent.
Should is not what could be. Should is what must be. One man said “Give me liberty or give me death.” Now there is Should. Could would say, we could have liberty if only this and that and you get the picture. Should however, say’s there is no other option. There is no other recourse. No backup plan. Do or die. Liberty or death.
What Should be for your Organization, family, relationship etc in the coming New Year? Many are going to spend much time in planning session focusing on Could in the coming weeks. How many though will focus on Should. “We could do _________ this year, but we really Should do __________.
My prayer and hope for your Organization, family and your relationship for the coming New Year is that Vision will ignite in your own heart and the hearts of those around and beneath you in a way that it never has before.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
DEO GRATIS!
Do you ever think about that? Most people only see what could be. They say things like, “If our Organization/family did ___________ then it could be ____________.” We spend way too much time talking about what could be. Our Organization could be bigger. Our staff could be larger. Our relationship could be more understanding. Our family could be more giving, loving, caring and the list goes on.
Could. How much of our energy is focused on what could be.
Should. Now there is a word that “Should” be in our vocabulary this year and henceforth. When one has a vision for something, there is no Could. There is only Should. Could presents an Idea. Should casts a vision. Where Could presents an opinion, Should shows a way.
Should does not say “If” or “If only”. Should says, “Let’s do it. Let’s find a way. Whatever it takes.” Could sits on the sidelines and complains about what could be while Should carries the ball through obstacles and hurdles that most people would never consider approaching.
Should is passionate. Should is on fire. Should makes comfortable people uneasy. Should messes with the status queue. Should is Vision.
There is a significant difference between the outcome of Could and Should. When you begin to focus on Should, Could get’s lost. Could cannot operate in the same realm as Should. When Should is in operation, Could grows silent.
Should is not what could be. Should is what must be. One man said “Give me liberty or give me death.” Now there is Should. Could would say, we could have liberty if only this and that and you get the picture. Should however, say’s there is no other option. There is no other recourse. No backup plan. Do or die. Liberty or death.
What Should be for your Organization, family, relationship etc in the coming New Year? Many are going to spend much time in planning session focusing on Could in the coming weeks. How many though will focus on Should. “We could do _________ this year, but we really Should do __________.
My prayer and hope for your Organization, family and your relationship for the coming New Year is that Vision will ignite in your own heart and the hearts of those around and beneath you in a way that it never has before.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
DEO GRATIS!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
MOTHERS AROUND THE WORLD: HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY
MOTHERS AROUND THE WORLD: HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY
Mothers all over the world create memories, teach important lessons and bring beauty and joy to members of their families. Although mother’s Day became a national holiday in United States of America in 1914, it actually began in ancient Rome long ago. Since then, countries around the globe including Nigeria have chosen to set aside a special day to honor mothers. Many countries celebrate Mother’s Day on the second Sunday in May while others honor mums on may 10 each year.
UNIQUE TRADITIONS
Mothers in every country have special traditions they have handed down to their children for generations.
• While they are in labor, mothers from the Central African Republic call out “EL-OH mama ti mbi, ti mbi aso mbi.” This means “EL-oh mother of mine, my belly hurts me.” Their mothers answer by saying, “Kanda be ti MO!” this basically means, “Tough it out!”
• In China, craving spicy food indicates a woman is going to have a girl. If she craves sour food, she anticipates a boy. New mothers also are expected to rest in bed for 30 to 40 days without bathing.
• In Japan, pregnant women often receive gifts of Shriasu, that is, small white fish. Japanese grandmothers help care for their daughters and new grandchildren four (4) weeks after the birth of the baby.
• Expectant mothers in Mexico refrain from walking through cemeteries or attending funerals. Many new babies and their mothers are cared for 40 days after the birth.
• In Guatemala mothers eat sweet bread and drink hot chocolate soon after babies are born.
•Mothers in Nigeria do not hang pin around their wrappers when pregnant. It is also a known fact (call it sentiment if you like) that Nigerian women believed walking under the sun is dangerous.
• During the postnatal period in Ghana, some mothers believe their stomach will stay fat if they do not keep their legs crossed.
• Pregnant Inuit mothers in northern Canada do not wear rings or braids and try not to blow bubbles with their gum or blow up balloons. New babies are greeted with a handshake by members of their families.
• In order to prevent their babies from being born with squinted eyes, mother in Uganda do not drink water while they are standing.
• If a woman’s labor in Bihar, India, takes too long she may be asked to drink a glass of water in which her mother-in-law’s toe has been dipped!
CARING FOR CHILDREN
- Throughout the years, mothers have shown unique ways to care for their children. Crow Indians carried their babies on cradle boards with two (2) pointed sticks at the top. This way, a child would not be injured if accidentally dropped from a horse.
- In Germany mothers provide Schultiilen (cardboard cones filled with goodies) for the first day in school.
- Mothers in Mexico celebrate children birthdays with pinatas. Families in the Philippines celebrate children birthdays by decorating the outside of their house with blinking lights and attending mass together.
- The Aboriginal natives of northwestern Australia often walk one or two miles after their babies are born as they return to their camp. A few hours after their children are born, mothers cover them with charcoal and grease to protect babies’ skin from exposure and keep it soft.
- Japanese mothers hand down precious dolls to their daughters during the Doll festival, Hina-Matsuri. These beautiful and valuable dolls are displayed once a year and then are carefully stored away to be viewed again the next year.
- Nigerian women are used to calling their male children husband (Oko Mi) particularly women from the Yoruba tribe.
A GODLY INHERITANCE
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She bring him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-31
“While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, ‘Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you’.” Matthew 12:46-50
Mothers all over the world, we celebrate you. Happy Mother’s Day.
Mothers all over the world create memories, teach important lessons and bring beauty and joy to members of their families. Although mother’s Day became a national holiday in United States of America in 1914, it actually began in ancient Rome long ago. Since then, countries around the globe including Nigeria have chosen to set aside a special day to honor mothers. Many countries celebrate Mother’s Day on the second Sunday in May while others honor mums on may 10 each year.
UNIQUE TRADITIONS
Mothers in every country have special traditions they have handed down to their children for generations.
• While they are in labor, mothers from the Central African Republic call out “EL-OH mama ti mbi, ti mbi aso mbi.” This means “EL-oh mother of mine, my belly hurts me.” Their mothers answer by saying, “Kanda be ti MO!” this basically means, “Tough it out!”
• In China, craving spicy food indicates a woman is going to have a girl. If she craves sour food, she anticipates a boy. New mothers also are expected to rest in bed for 30 to 40 days without bathing.
• In Japan, pregnant women often receive gifts of Shriasu, that is, small white fish. Japanese grandmothers help care for their daughters and new grandchildren four (4) weeks after the birth of the baby.
• Expectant mothers in Mexico refrain from walking through cemeteries or attending funerals. Many new babies and their mothers are cared for 40 days after the birth.
• In Guatemala mothers eat sweet bread and drink hot chocolate soon after babies are born.
•Mothers in Nigeria do not hang pin around their wrappers when pregnant. It is also a known fact (call it sentiment if you like) that Nigerian women believed walking under the sun is dangerous.
• During the postnatal period in Ghana, some mothers believe their stomach will stay fat if they do not keep their legs crossed.
• Pregnant Inuit mothers in northern Canada do not wear rings or braids and try not to blow bubbles with their gum or blow up balloons. New babies are greeted with a handshake by members of their families.
• In order to prevent their babies from being born with squinted eyes, mother in Uganda do not drink water while they are standing.
• If a woman’s labor in Bihar, India, takes too long she may be asked to drink a glass of water in which her mother-in-law’s toe has been dipped!
CARING FOR CHILDREN
- Throughout the years, mothers have shown unique ways to care for their children. Crow Indians carried their babies on cradle boards with two (2) pointed sticks at the top. This way, a child would not be injured if accidentally dropped from a horse.
- In Germany mothers provide Schultiilen (cardboard cones filled with goodies) for the first day in school.
- Mothers in Mexico celebrate children birthdays with pinatas. Families in the Philippines celebrate children birthdays by decorating the outside of their house with blinking lights and attending mass together.
- The Aboriginal natives of northwestern Australia often walk one or two miles after their babies are born as they return to their camp. A few hours after their children are born, mothers cover them with charcoal and grease to protect babies’ skin from exposure and keep it soft.
- Japanese mothers hand down precious dolls to their daughters during the Doll festival, Hina-Matsuri. These beautiful and valuable dolls are displayed once a year and then are carefully stored away to be viewed again the next year.
- Nigerian women are used to calling their male children husband (Oko Mi) particularly women from the Yoruba tribe.
A GODLY INHERITANCE
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She bring him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-31
“While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, ‘Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you’.” Matthew 12:46-50
Mothers all over the world, we celebrate you. Happy Mother’s Day.
THE TRUTH ABOUT CHARM
THE TRUTH ABOUT CHARM
Who doesn’t want to be referred to as charming? The dictionary defines charm “as the ability to attract or delight greatly.” So how does one obtain the elusive quality of charm? And where exactly does it fit in our Christian walk? Is charm on God’s list of approved qualities?
An article by s noted Beauty Authority in 1949 addressed the three (3) fundamentals of charm. Get ready to laugh.
The three (3) fundamentals of charm are:-
1. Vigorous Aliveness
2. Appealing Good Looks
3. Ability to meet Life Gaily.
The author stress to summed it up by saying, “You can’t be gay, you can’t be vigorous, and you can’t look your best if you’re not in good condition. The advice may be helpful in 1949 but outdated today to an average teen girl.
So what exactly does God have to say about charm? Does the Bible even address it? Amazingly it does. Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised”. The original Hebrew word for deceptive in the verse is ‘Sheqer’ and it means “an untruth” or “a sham”. The second part of Proverbs 31:30 is clear on what makes God’s list when it comes to admirable qualities. “A woman who fears the Lord will be praised”. So what in the world does it mean to “fear the Lord”? It’s not of the knees knocking, teeth chattering, i-just-saw-a-ghost kind of fear. The fear that God speaks of is quite different. It is an awe and reverence for Him – an awesome respect.
One Bible dictionary describes fear of the Lord as something that dreads God’s displeasure – desires God’s favour – reveres God’s holiness – submits cheerfully to God’s will – is grateful for God’s benefits – sincerely worships God – conscientiously obeys God’s commandments.
Let break down the variables above.
- DO YOU DREAD GOD’S DISPLEASURE? You know that feeling you get when one of your parents is disappointed in you over something you have done? Would it concern you if you knew God was displeasured with your actions?
- DO YOU DESIRE GOD’S FAVOUR? Are you more concerned with winning the favour of man or God? Sadly, most Christians seem more concerned with being people – pleasers rather than God – pleasers.
- DO YOU REVERE GOD’S HOLINESS? Do you use the name of the Lord in vain or remain silent when others use His name in vain.
- DO YOU SUBMIT CHEERFULLY TO GOD’S WILL? Are you committed to seeking out God’s will by reading the Bible consistently and praying? When you know what God wants you to do in a situation, do you do it, even though it may not be the popular thing to do?
Excerpt from Living with Teens e-Library
For: Living with Teens Team
Tola_faith20042000@hotmail.com
08069730924
Who doesn’t want to be referred to as charming? The dictionary defines charm “as the ability to attract or delight greatly.” So how does one obtain the elusive quality of charm? And where exactly does it fit in our Christian walk? Is charm on God’s list of approved qualities?
An article by s noted Beauty Authority in 1949 addressed the three (3) fundamentals of charm. Get ready to laugh.
The three (3) fundamentals of charm are:-
1. Vigorous Aliveness
2. Appealing Good Looks
3. Ability to meet Life Gaily.
The author stress to summed it up by saying, “You can’t be gay, you can’t be vigorous, and you can’t look your best if you’re not in good condition. The advice may be helpful in 1949 but outdated today to an average teen girl.
So what exactly does God have to say about charm? Does the Bible even address it? Amazingly it does. Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised”. The original Hebrew word for deceptive in the verse is ‘Sheqer’ and it means “an untruth” or “a sham”. The second part of Proverbs 31:30 is clear on what makes God’s list when it comes to admirable qualities. “A woman who fears the Lord will be praised”. So what in the world does it mean to “fear the Lord”? It’s not of the knees knocking, teeth chattering, i-just-saw-a-ghost kind of fear. The fear that God speaks of is quite different. It is an awe and reverence for Him – an awesome respect.
One Bible dictionary describes fear of the Lord as something that dreads God’s displeasure – desires God’s favour – reveres God’s holiness – submits cheerfully to God’s will – is grateful for God’s benefits – sincerely worships God – conscientiously obeys God’s commandments.
Let break down the variables above.
- DO YOU DREAD GOD’S DISPLEASURE? You know that feeling you get when one of your parents is disappointed in you over something you have done? Would it concern you if you knew God was displeasured with your actions?
- DO YOU DESIRE GOD’S FAVOUR? Are you more concerned with winning the favour of man or God? Sadly, most Christians seem more concerned with being people – pleasers rather than God – pleasers.
- DO YOU REVERE GOD’S HOLINESS? Do you use the name of the Lord in vain or remain silent when others use His name in vain.
- DO YOU SUBMIT CHEERFULLY TO GOD’S WILL? Are you committed to seeking out God’s will by reading the Bible consistently and praying? When you know what God wants you to do in a situation, do you do it, even though it may not be the popular thing to do?
Excerpt from Living with Teens e-Library
For: Living with Teens Team
Tola_faith20042000@hotmail.com
08069730924
SEX: WHAT IS IT TO YOU?
SEX: WHAT IS IT TO YOU?
Tolstoy’s story titled “The Three Questions” portrayed the approach we have given to the decadence of sexual revolution in the lives of our young people. This is about a man who wants to find out how to be a really good person, and he sought the answer to these three questions:
1. When is the best time to do things?
2. Who should I pay attention to and who should I ignore?
3. And what’s the very best thing to do?
Answering the three questions, I want us to take few minutes to ponder again on the three questions. You get to the end and find out that the best time to do things is now. The best time for us to lay siege over the decadence in the life of our young people is now. We can’t wait until the assailant victimized the destiny and conscience of them all. I once read about the story of a man who visited a village where the villagers were drinking by the river bank. They were so happy that the atmosphere was filled with total excitement. Before one could say Jack Robinson or suddenly, a crocodile rush out of the water and chop the leg of one of them and the drinking continue still. The visiting man was flabbergasted that nobody was concerned neither bothered of the incident that just occurred. To his amazement he later saw some with one leg, some with one hand. Its has become part of them as a custom. Before the crocodile handicap the generation of our young people, we must do something to kill the crocodile as fast as possible. Now is the only time we have any power, not tomorrow.
Despite the alarming rise and rate of STD s, teenage abortion and Pregnancies both now and then, young people still want to have sex more than ever before – someone calls it “Experimentation sex Revolution”. Sex today is becoming more and cheaper and socially acceptable and it is essential that young people should properly be informed about the ‘Gains of waiting’ (safe sex) and the ‘Consequences of constant and instant sex’. You know the misconception? They (Teenagers) clearly associates condoms with “safe sex” and criticized and booed those who did not use them, especially in our campuses.
But many sexually active young people must realize that it is unwise to rely too much on condoms for safe sex. So, do we need a more intense programm of sex education for young people? There is no good historical reason to believe that sex education will ever result in safe sexual activity: “It has long been accepted that information is insufficient to prompt behavior change… others have noted an absence of any clear association between awareness of unsafe sexual practices and a change to safer sex” (sexual behavior in Britain, published 1994). This is especially true of teenagers. A lasting, responsible attitude to sex among teenagers seems some what unlikely. In America sex education appears to have failed in the recent past: “Even after the Federal Government has poured $500 million into sex education programs in public schools since 1973, the symptoms continue to get worse” (Fred Hartley, That Morale Thing, published 1988). This is where Living With Teens idea came in. It is not enough giving them (Teenagers) sex education without creating or establishing a packet of conversation or talks where things you know not as their parents begins to evolves because ‘the more sexually active teenagers are the more and new challenges/problems they experience’. Remember, you lived in a world that was. They are living in a world that is.
Views: Adopting world’s view on sex can expose you to a variety of dangers even the dangers the likes of Hollywood, Nolly wood and Bollyhood movies seem to have ignored. Guys, note that ‘You are not missing out by refusing to have sex’. Let’s consider some of the implications of becoming pregnant. Bringing a baby into the world during your Mid-Teen years is a huge responsibility.
The Implications of Becoming Pregnant as a Teenager/Youth.
1. It turns a girl’s life upside down.
2. For a time, at least it affects her education
3. It may affect her job prospects
4. It affects her social life and friendship
5. It can also affect her emotionally.
6. It also put pressure on her immediate family who will probably become increasingly involved in caring for the baby.
Though, for single girls who are not Christians, abortion seems to offer a quick solution to a horrible mess. But like most things in life, it’s not that simple and risky.
I read these American statistics by Dr. Anne Catherine Speckhard, PhD. Of the University of Minnesota, on the long-term manifestations of stress from abortion five to ten years later: 81% reported preoccupation with the aborted child; 73% reported flash backs of the abortion experience; 69% reported feelings of craziness after the abortion; 54% recalled nightmares related to the abortion; 35% had perceived visitations from the aborted child; 23% reported hallucinations related to the abortion.
“In Dr. Speckhard findings, 72% of the subjects said they held no religious beliefs at the time of their abortion and 96% in retrospect regarded abortion as the taking of life or as murder” (from Teens Speak Out by Josh McDowell).
Societies shaken by the consequences of early sexual activity by Teenagers/Youths are desperate for solutions. Sometimes priorities get depressingly mixed up. It’s hard to live with the more extreme views on do-or-die elections than bringing succor to the unending sexual craziness in the life of our young ones. (Despite the fact that we call them the future leaders).
“Our Party is ruling for 100 years,” a father claimed on a recent news report. You just don’t get over it. It’s frustrating to see our political players rising up against her opponents while abortion clinics continue their war unabated, destroying the unborn by the thousand every day and other menace that has characterized the very moral fiber of our society. The future looks bleak. (I am not in anyway pessimistic).
In his book Youth: The endangered Species, Mal Fletcher tells the sad story of Alison who suddenly discovered she was pregnant, even though she was taking the contraceptive pill. She decided to have an abortion secretly. The operation lasted only 15 minutes. Afterward, to her horror, she learned that she had lost twins. Alison later discovered that her mother, following a doctor’s advice, had nearly aborted her. “I felt like slipping into a dark hole in the ground and never coming out,” she said. “Today the hardest part is not forgiving myself.”
One simple mistake in the heat of passion could put you through a lot of emotional turmoil and even change the entire direction of your life. If you want to increase your chances of being truly safe it is best to educate yourself, put God’s ways first and reserve sex for marriage.
“…give Him your bodies, as a living sacrifice, consecrated to Him and acceptable by Him. Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold
, but let God re-make you so that your whole attitude of mind is changed. Thus you will prove in practice that the will of God is good…” (Romans 12:1, 2, Phillips).
Sex education in schools has at least one hidden danger. A teenager put it like this: “Many schools have…education courses. The information they give out does clear up misunderstandings the students might have had, but they also unintentionally encourage experimentation. The young people have all the correct information, and all that remains for them to do is try it out” (Teens Speak Out). In other words, sex education could indirectly help to encourage and normalize sexual activity among an age group already under immense pressure.
Mal Fletcher makes another important point: “Some parents leave all that talk about sex to their local high school. That can be a major mistake. Not least because you as a parent have no guarantee that your children will be taught what you approve of,” (Youth: The Endangered Species).
THE TROUBLE WITH SEX…
1. Condoms and STD s
The condom is a contraceptive which traps sperm during sexual intercourse. It helps prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases (STD s) and reduces the risk of unwanted pregnancies. Many young teenagers/youths are unaware that no single method of contraception ensures 100% protection against pregnancy and STD s.
The sexually active youth culture makes great use of condoms –usually without added spermicide. Teenagers/youth associate quick, casual sex with condom use. Many juveniles regularly have intercourse because condoms are easily obtained. As a result, inexperience, lust and an urgent animal-like sex drive can lead to unexpected pregnancies and diseases. In many cases no thought is given to contraceptives at all.
Some young girls are shocked to learn they are pregnant even though they thought they were well protected during intercourse by a condom. The best of condoms (quality varies) can be damaged by rings, long or broken nails and rough or chapped skin. Such damaged is hard to see and is certainly not a consideration at the time of use. During arousal, some of the 300,000,000 sperm are released in fluid. So condoms must be worn in the early stages of sexual arousal and carefully removed immediately after use. It is also worth remembering that condoms can be unreliable when used after their expiry date.
Alcohol is often associated with undisciplined sexual activity among young people, and with the senses significantly dulled a couple may handle a condom clumsily – if they are able to use one at all.
Through their survey the authors of Sexual Behaviour in Britain have confirmed that too many young teenagers are incapable of having responsible sex: “Where intercourse occurs before the age of 16, nearly half of young women and more then half of young men report no method (of contraception) used either by themselves or by a partner…
This might reflect lack of confidence in seeking contraceptive supplies or advice or, alternatively, the sporadic nature of sexual activity in this age group. This emphasizes the particular vulnerability of this group to unplanned pregnancy.”
Because condoms have at least a 10% failure rate, it is unwise to depend on them alone to prevent pregnancy – yet many do. They have also been greatly promoted as the way to have “safe sex” to combat the spread of AIDS. AIDS is a sexual disease that kills – there is no cure. The AIDS virus attacks the human immunity system so carriers cannot fight off disease. “AIDS” means “Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome”. But the condom is not completely successfully in preventing the spread of AIDS.
According to author and teacher Josh McDowell two studies in America have sown that when a couple use condoms 100% of the time, and one of them is a carrier of the AIDS virus, over a two year period there is a disturbing failure rate of 17-30%. By no stretch of the imagination can this be called “safe sex”.
There are many other STD s including Chlamydia, genital herpes, trichinosis, gonorrhea, syphilis and PID (pelvic inflammatory disease). In the UK over 500,000 people visit STD clinics every year. Recent statistics from America reveal that on average over 50,000 people contract a sexually transmitted disease every day, and over 4000 are teenagers. That’s approaching 20,000,000 a year compared to 4,000,000 in 1980.
Over 50 STD s have been discovered and of these 20 cannot stopped by contraception. Some STD s appear to be out of control: 25,000,000 people in America have Herpes and it can be passed on to their children.
STD s can be painful and distressing. Their effects can be shocking. For example, the main cause of blindness in the third world is a sexually transmitted disease. Sexually transmitted diseases can “sleep” in the human body for several years. As a result, many sexually active people ignorantly pass on serious diseases – even after marriage.
2. The Pill
The Pill is another method of contraception. Instead pf preventing sperm reaching the egg, the Pill once swallowed releases into the female’s body synthetic preparations of one or both of the hormones known as estrogen and progesterone. These prevent egg production. There can be unpleasant side-effects with the Pill including nausea, tender breasts, vaginal discharge, skin discoloration, mild depression, loss of sexual drive, and headaches.
No one will experience all of these side-effects and where they do occur they will vary in intensity from person to person. Careless behavior because of Pill protection increases the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Women must make sure they remember to take their pills at the proper time.
3. Sexual Behavior among teenagers
Teenagers years bring pressure into your life at a time when you are least able to handle it. Mid-teens are often driven by feelings too strong to allow them time to think about the consequences of their actions. A “live for the moment” mentality can be hard to resist. Television, movies, videos, computer games, music and peers are all shouting out the same misleading message: “If it feels good, do it!” The truth is quite different: if it feels good make sure you’re doing it sensibly and responsibly in obedience to the Word of God. If you can’t do it sensibly and responsibly, don’t bother!
Irrational behavior will only add to the problems of life. Fun doesn’t have to be wild and careless – no matter what you’re led to believe. Ricocheting all over town in a small car doesn’t mean a young person is cool – it just means he’s immature, putting himself, other drivers and pedestrians at risk. No balanced person is impressed by reckless behavior.
Coming to terms with your own immaturity and foolishness is not something to be ashamed of. Most teenagers go through periods in their lives when, hands on ears, they have to learn the hard way. It takes time to realize that life is not all about the 3 Ps: Pleasure, Performance and Possessions. It may take some years to leave behind childish attitudes and aim for fulfilling goals in life which bring security and contentment.
Don’t try to excuse your immature behavior by telling yourself you are young. If you know you are being childish and irresponsible then you should be taking steps towards a more sensible lifestyle before you get hurt or upset others.
It takes a committed, educated person to say “No!” to sexual pressure – someone who clings to God’s standards. Because everybody’s doing it, talking about it and singing about it (chart music) doesn’t mean it’s OK. It’s not OK. Many teenagers can’t cope with sex. Look past the media message about sex and you will see the truth. Sex at this level has consequences.
The younger you date the more likely you are to expose yourself to sexual pressure. If you start dating at 12 you will probably have sex before you are 17. 9 out of 10 do, according to statistics. If you start dating at 14 or 15 you will still find considerable difficulty in controlling yourself. About 5 out of 10 who start dating at this age will give in to sexual pressure before they are 17. But if you wait the chances are greatly reduced.
A church youth survey in America discovered that 62% of teenagers had been involved in sexual activities. These are mostly teenagers associated with church life, and still they struggle with sexual issues. In the USA more than 1,000,000 teenagers get pregnant every year and 500,000 choose abortion as a solution. Other teenagers who marry find that it doesn’t work out: 60% will be divorced within five years and 60% of them will be pregnant again within two years. In Australia 100,000 abortions are carried out each year, 25% of them on teenagers. According to a recent survey “A sizable minority of young people are now sexually active before the age of 16…”
A recent quota-sample survey carried out in the South-West of England, for example, showed 41% of young people aged 16-24 to have had intercourse before the age of 16 (Sexual Behavior In Britain). In England and Wales illegitimate births have risen over 260% in twenty years; four out of five conceptions to women under 20 are outside marriage; more than 4,500 girls aged 18 and under become pregnant each year.
Sexual misbehavior is clearly linked to general undisciplined conduct: “Both alcohol consumption and smoking were found to be associated with patterns of sexual behavior. After controlling for age, social class and marital status, reporting of multiple partnerships was significantly associated with smoking and with increasing levels of alcohol consumption” (Sexual Behavior in Britain). The popular “Let’s party!” approach to life exposes teenagers to careless sex, drunkenness, smoking, drug abuse and even violence.
Having sex with a number of people through your teenage years can lead to serious health problems: “Epidemiological studies indicate that the likelihood of acquiring a sexually transmitted disease increases with the number of sexual partners with whom unprotected sexual intercourse takes place & studies of cervical have shown an increased risk associated with early age at first intercourse, number of sexual partners, and smoking…
Recent abortion (in the last 5 years) was most common among those aged 16-24… possibly reflecting poor use of contraception, greater numbers of sexual partners and a higher prevalence of uncommitted relationships… Women reporting 10 or more partners in their lifetime were more than 5 times more likely to have an abortion than those who had only one partner” (Sexual Behavior in Britain).
We must draw the line here and face up to the undeniable fact that a significant number of teenagers can’t cope with sex. They are catching and spreading diseases. They are becoming pregnant. They are being forced into abortions. They are replying too heavily on condoms to prevent pregnancy. They are being led to believe there is such a thing as “safe sex”. They are being misled by screen sex. They are losing their virginity to people they don’t really love and vice versa. Too many young girls are bringing up children without fathers and stable family backgrounds. A growing number of teenagers who are told it is normal to express their sexuality often follow their emotional whims right through to the bitter end.
Some of the “progressive” opinions they are exposed to are, at best, too flexible and short-sighted – some would say irresponsible: “Change your behavior to less risky behavior,” is the curious advice from a youth magazine published in Northern Ireland, because “Sex is a very normal and healthy part of our lives” (Platform).
The unbelieving world is trying to guide teenagers into safe sex, as they choose to call it. After helping to create a self-indulgent, pleasure-seeking youth culture the world sets about trying to calm them down into a responsible attitude to sex. NO CHANCE!
Sex can be addictive and hard to control. Don’t take any risks. Discover the true and lasting value of sex in a meaningful life-long relationship. Marriage is the environment where sex is most precious and works best. The simple truth is you cannot mess with sex or treat it lightly. It has the power to damage your mind and body. It can quickly mess up your future. It can easily pollute you in ways God hates. But, through a real relationship with Christ, the Christian teenager has the power to lessen the damaging effects of sexual pressure in this modern reckless society.
Sexual immorality is sin. God is saying, “Go against the flow!”
It’s becoming increasingly difficult to define “safe sex” apart from a loving marriage commitment. Sex is not a necessity. You will not die without it now! But millions are dying and suffering because of it. Being girl less does not make you lesser. It is possible to resist present sexual trends among other teenagers you know at school, college, university, or work.
4. Masturbation
Masturbation is causing sexual sensations by touching and arousing yourself. Many people finds this subject difficult to discuss. Adults masturbate as well as teenagers. One Christian author admitted he did it himself because of his need for sexual release when he was occasionally parted from his wife. “It is a normal part of growing up” (Sex and that, by Michael Lawson and Dr. David Skip). But some consider these attitudes questionable. Should masturbation really be considered normal at any age? Sexual development is normal, but surely we must learn the right way to control and express our sexuality. Does masturbation help?
Many believe that spiritual maturity demands that only your marriage partner should stimulate you sexually. This is normal sexual behavior leading up to sexual climax. Sex is after all, considering the function of sex organs, designed for two people – a man and a woman who are fully committed to each other for life.
Some may disagree, but it’s difficult not to connect masturbation with a lack of self-control. Self-control is something all Christians should expect to see increasingly in their lives. It is the result of living a normal Christian life in the will of God by the power of His Spirit. It is our goal. We may fail, but that’s no excuse for totally giving up.
Can we seriously expect teenage masturbation not to involve sexual fantasies? And what about pornographic material? Sexually immoral thoughts are harmful and, of course, sinful. Add masturbation and the average teenager is out of control. Pornography exists because people are obsessed with sex: they pervert it and this in turn has a corruption effect on those who enjoy it. Such corruption can be very difficult to shake off. Sex is addictive.
Those who find masturbation a problem should firstly pray sincerely about it, then look at their lives to see if there are any areas that are not helpful. For example, watching television late at night will almost certainly expose you to strong sexual immorality. Allowing yourself to be tempted when surfing the Net will only draw you back again and again. Do not allow your lower nature to be stirred up. You have a new nature; you are a new creation.
Television has a growing problem with sex (and politics!) at all times of the day and night. Sex sells. Sex attracts viewers. People like to be turned on. Don’t allow yourself to be caught on the sex hook. There are a lot of frustrated people out there.
Indecent full-frontal scenes have been broadcast in the afternoon on Britain, Nigeria, America etc television, so you can imagine what gets screened at night. So-called friends who are not Christians can also cause sexual problems for Christian teenagers who are struggling to hold on to standards. Select your friends carefully and keep a check on what you watch. The same rules apply to renting out home videos and going to see a movie. You are permanently attached to a powerful set of standards and you can never leave them behind.
A word to parents: Do not assume your children are safe watching Parental Guidance films: “Parents might like to check up on it (a PG film) before showing it to their younger children. If it’s an action film it might have some violence. If it’s romantic it might have some sexy scenes or very brief nudity. It might also have some milder swear words” (official definition). So even PG films might cause you problems.
The world’s standards are slipping lower every year. Films containing immorality and swearing are sometimes promoted as family presentations. Incidentally, concerned parents should check up on schools to see what PG home videos (for home use only) and programs recorded from television are being shown to their children at special times of the year, such as Christmas and end of term. Sometimes teachers disregard the rights of parents and allow children to watch material at school Christian parents would not show at home. Parents cannot rely on the guidance of teachers. “Parental Guidance” means just that!
Also, take time to watch some of the more ‘progressive’ schools program on TV. You will be shocked at the way life and sex are portrayed, warts and all - essential biblical truths we hold dear are bulldozed out of the way. A guest on a recently screened sex education program for teenagers pointed out that a strong condom should be used during anal sex. What do your children see? What dubious opinions are they regularly exposed to? What are they reading during lessons at schools? Whose example will they follow?
Tolstoy’s story titled “The Three Questions” portrayed the approach we have given to the decadence of sexual revolution in the lives of our young people. This is about a man who wants to find out how to be a really good person, and he sought the answer to these three questions:
1. When is the best time to do things?
2. Who should I pay attention to and who should I ignore?
3. And what’s the very best thing to do?
Answering the three questions, I want us to take few minutes to ponder again on the three questions. You get to the end and find out that the best time to do things is now. The best time for us to lay siege over the decadence in the life of our young people is now. We can’t wait until the assailant victimized the destiny and conscience of them all. I once read about the story of a man who visited a village where the villagers were drinking by the river bank. They were so happy that the atmosphere was filled with total excitement. Before one could say Jack Robinson or suddenly, a crocodile rush out of the water and chop the leg of one of them and the drinking continue still. The visiting man was flabbergasted that nobody was concerned neither bothered of the incident that just occurred. To his amazement he later saw some with one leg, some with one hand. Its has become part of them as a custom. Before the crocodile handicap the generation of our young people, we must do something to kill the crocodile as fast as possible. Now is the only time we have any power, not tomorrow.
Despite the alarming rise and rate of STD s, teenage abortion and Pregnancies both now and then, young people still want to have sex more than ever before – someone calls it “Experimentation sex Revolution”. Sex today is becoming more and cheaper and socially acceptable and it is essential that young people should properly be informed about the ‘Gains of waiting’ (safe sex) and the ‘Consequences of constant and instant sex’. You know the misconception? They (Teenagers) clearly associates condoms with “safe sex” and criticized and booed those who did not use them, especially in our campuses.
But many sexually active young people must realize that it is unwise to rely too much on condoms for safe sex. So, do we need a more intense programm of sex education for young people? There is no good historical reason to believe that sex education will ever result in safe sexual activity: “It has long been accepted that information is insufficient to prompt behavior change… others have noted an absence of any clear association between awareness of unsafe sexual practices and a change to safer sex” (sexual behavior in Britain, published 1994). This is especially true of teenagers. A lasting, responsible attitude to sex among teenagers seems some what unlikely. In America sex education appears to have failed in the recent past: “Even after the Federal Government has poured $500 million into sex education programs in public schools since 1973, the symptoms continue to get worse” (Fred Hartley, That Morale Thing, published 1988). This is where Living With Teens idea came in. It is not enough giving them (Teenagers) sex education without creating or establishing a packet of conversation or talks where things you know not as their parents begins to evolves because ‘the more sexually active teenagers are the more and new challenges/problems they experience’. Remember, you lived in a world that was. They are living in a world that is.
Views: Adopting world’s view on sex can expose you to a variety of dangers even the dangers the likes of Hollywood, Nolly wood and Bollyhood movies seem to have ignored. Guys, note that ‘You are not missing out by refusing to have sex’. Let’s consider some of the implications of becoming pregnant. Bringing a baby into the world during your Mid-Teen years is a huge responsibility.
The Implications of Becoming Pregnant as a Teenager/Youth.
1. It turns a girl’s life upside down.
2. For a time, at least it affects her education
3. It may affect her job prospects
4. It affects her social life and friendship
5. It can also affect her emotionally.
6. It also put pressure on her immediate family who will probably become increasingly involved in caring for the baby.
Though, for single girls who are not Christians, abortion seems to offer a quick solution to a horrible mess. But like most things in life, it’s not that simple and risky.
I read these American statistics by Dr. Anne Catherine Speckhard, PhD. Of the University of Minnesota, on the long-term manifestations of stress from abortion five to ten years later: 81% reported preoccupation with the aborted child; 73% reported flash backs of the abortion experience; 69% reported feelings of craziness after the abortion; 54% recalled nightmares related to the abortion; 35% had perceived visitations from the aborted child; 23% reported hallucinations related to the abortion.
“In Dr. Speckhard findings, 72% of the subjects said they held no religious beliefs at the time of their abortion and 96% in retrospect regarded abortion as the taking of life or as murder” (from Teens Speak Out by Josh McDowell).
Societies shaken by the consequences of early sexual activity by Teenagers/Youths are desperate for solutions. Sometimes priorities get depressingly mixed up. It’s hard to live with the more extreme views on do-or-die elections than bringing succor to the unending sexual craziness in the life of our young ones. (Despite the fact that we call them the future leaders).
“Our Party is ruling for 100 years,” a father claimed on a recent news report. You just don’t get over it. It’s frustrating to see our political players rising up against her opponents while abortion clinics continue their war unabated, destroying the unborn by the thousand every day and other menace that has characterized the very moral fiber of our society. The future looks bleak. (I am not in anyway pessimistic).
In his book Youth: The endangered Species, Mal Fletcher tells the sad story of Alison who suddenly discovered she was pregnant, even though she was taking the contraceptive pill. She decided to have an abortion secretly. The operation lasted only 15 minutes. Afterward, to her horror, she learned that she had lost twins. Alison later discovered that her mother, following a doctor’s advice, had nearly aborted her. “I felt like slipping into a dark hole in the ground and never coming out,” she said. “Today the hardest part is not forgiving myself.”
One simple mistake in the heat of passion could put you through a lot of emotional turmoil and even change the entire direction of your life. If you want to increase your chances of being truly safe it is best to educate yourself, put God’s ways first and reserve sex for marriage.
“…give Him your bodies, as a living sacrifice, consecrated to Him and acceptable by Him. Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold
, but let God re-make you so that your whole attitude of mind is changed. Thus you will prove in practice that the will of God is good…” (Romans 12:1, 2, Phillips).
Sex education in schools has at least one hidden danger. A teenager put it like this: “Many schools have…education courses. The information they give out does clear up misunderstandings the students might have had, but they also unintentionally encourage experimentation. The young people have all the correct information, and all that remains for them to do is try it out” (Teens Speak Out). In other words, sex education could indirectly help to encourage and normalize sexual activity among an age group already under immense pressure.
Mal Fletcher makes another important point: “Some parents leave all that talk about sex to their local high school. That can be a major mistake. Not least because you as a parent have no guarantee that your children will be taught what you approve of,” (Youth: The Endangered Species).
THE TROUBLE WITH SEX…
1. Condoms and STD s
The condom is a contraceptive which traps sperm during sexual intercourse. It helps prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases (STD s) and reduces the risk of unwanted pregnancies. Many young teenagers/youths are unaware that no single method of contraception ensures 100% protection against pregnancy and STD s.
The sexually active youth culture makes great use of condoms –usually without added spermicide. Teenagers/youth associate quick, casual sex with condom use. Many juveniles regularly have intercourse because condoms are easily obtained. As a result, inexperience, lust and an urgent animal-like sex drive can lead to unexpected pregnancies and diseases. In many cases no thought is given to contraceptives at all.
Some young girls are shocked to learn they are pregnant even though they thought they were well protected during intercourse by a condom. The best of condoms (quality varies) can be damaged by rings, long or broken nails and rough or chapped skin. Such damaged is hard to see and is certainly not a consideration at the time of use. During arousal, some of the 300,000,000 sperm are released in fluid. So condoms must be worn in the early stages of sexual arousal and carefully removed immediately after use. It is also worth remembering that condoms can be unreliable when used after their expiry date.
Alcohol is often associated with undisciplined sexual activity among young people, and with the senses significantly dulled a couple may handle a condom clumsily – if they are able to use one at all.
Through their survey the authors of Sexual Behaviour in Britain have confirmed that too many young teenagers are incapable of having responsible sex: “Where intercourse occurs before the age of 16, nearly half of young women and more then half of young men report no method (of contraception) used either by themselves or by a partner…
This might reflect lack of confidence in seeking contraceptive supplies or advice or, alternatively, the sporadic nature of sexual activity in this age group. This emphasizes the particular vulnerability of this group to unplanned pregnancy.”
Because condoms have at least a 10% failure rate, it is unwise to depend on them alone to prevent pregnancy – yet many do. They have also been greatly promoted as the way to have “safe sex” to combat the spread of AIDS. AIDS is a sexual disease that kills – there is no cure. The AIDS virus attacks the human immunity system so carriers cannot fight off disease. “AIDS” means “Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome”. But the condom is not completely successfully in preventing the spread of AIDS.
According to author and teacher Josh McDowell two studies in America have sown that when a couple use condoms 100% of the time, and one of them is a carrier of the AIDS virus, over a two year period there is a disturbing failure rate of 17-30%. By no stretch of the imagination can this be called “safe sex”.
There are many other STD s including Chlamydia, genital herpes, trichinosis, gonorrhea, syphilis and PID (pelvic inflammatory disease). In the UK over 500,000 people visit STD clinics every year. Recent statistics from America reveal that on average over 50,000 people contract a sexually transmitted disease every day, and over 4000 are teenagers. That’s approaching 20,000,000 a year compared to 4,000,000 in 1980.
Over 50 STD s have been discovered and of these 20 cannot stopped by contraception. Some STD s appear to be out of control: 25,000,000 people in America have Herpes and it can be passed on to their children.
STD s can be painful and distressing. Their effects can be shocking. For example, the main cause of blindness in the third world is a sexually transmitted disease. Sexually transmitted diseases can “sleep” in the human body for several years. As a result, many sexually active people ignorantly pass on serious diseases – even after marriage.
2. The Pill
The Pill is another method of contraception. Instead pf preventing sperm reaching the egg, the Pill once swallowed releases into the female’s body synthetic preparations of one or both of the hormones known as estrogen and progesterone. These prevent egg production. There can be unpleasant side-effects with the Pill including nausea, tender breasts, vaginal discharge, skin discoloration, mild depression, loss of sexual drive, and headaches.
No one will experience all of these side-effects and where they do occur they will vary in intensity from person to person. Careless behavior because of Pill protection increases the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Women must make sure they remember to take their pills at the proper time.
3. Sexual Behavior among teenagers
Teenagers years bring pressure into your life at a time when you are least able to handle it. Mid-teens are often driven by feelings too strong to allow them time to think about the consequences of their actions. A “live for the moment” mentality can be hard to resist. Television, movies, videos, computer games, music and peers are all shouting out the same misleading message: “If it feels good, do it!” The truth is quite different: if it feels good make sure you’re doing it sensibly and responsibly in obedience to the Word of God. If you can’t do it sensibly and responsibly, don’t bother!
Irrational behavior will only add to the problems of life. Fun doesn’t have to be wild and careless – no matter what you’re led to believe. Ricocheting all over town in a small car doesn’t mean a young person is cool – it just means he’s immature, putting himself, other drivers and pedestrians at risk. No balanced person is impressed by reckless behavior.
Coming to terms with your own immaturity and foolishness is not something to be ashamed of. Most teenagers go through periods in their lives when, hands on ears, they have to learn the hard way. It takes time to realize that life is not all about the 3 Ps: Pleasure, Performance and Possessions. It may take some years to leave behind childish attitudes and aim for fulfilling goals in life which bring security and contentment.
Don’t try to excuse your immature behavior by telling yourself you are young. If you know you are being childish and irresponsible then you should be taking steps towards a more sensible lifestyle before you get hurt or upset others.
It takes a committed, educated person to say “No!” to sexual pressure – someone who clings to God’s standards. Because everybody’s doing it, talking about it and singing about it (chart music) doesn’t mean it’s OK. It’s not OK. Many teenagers can’t cope with sex. Look past the media message about sex and you will see the truth. Sex at this level has consequences.
The younger you date the more likely you are to expose yourself to sexual pressure. If you start dating at 12 you will probably have sex before you are 17. 9 out of 10 do, according to statistics. If you start dating at 14 or 15 you will still find considerable difficulty in controlling yourself. About 5 out of 10 who start dating at this age will give in to sexual pressure before they are 17. But if you wait the chances are greatly reduced.
A church youth survey in America discovered that 62% of teenagers had been involved in sexual activities. These are mostly teenagers associated with church life, and still they struggle with sexual issues. In the USA more than 1,000,000 teenagers get pregnant every year and 500,000 choose abortion as a solution. Other teenagers who marry find that it doesn’t work out: 60% will be divorced within five years and 60% of them will be pregnant again within two years. In Australia 100,000 abortions are carried out each year, 25% of them on teenagers. According to a recent survey “A sizable minority of young people are now sexually active before the age of 16…”
A recent quota-sample survey carried out in the South-West of England, for example, showed 41% of young people aged 16-24 to have had intercourse before the age of 16 (Sexual Behavior In Britain). In England and Wales illegitimate births have risen over 260% in twenty years; four out of five conceptions to women under 20 are outside marriage; more than 4,500 girls aged 18 and under become pregnant each year.
Sexual misbehavior is clearly linked to general undisciplined conduct: “Both alcohol consumption and smoking were found to be associated with patterns of sexual behavior. After controlling for age, social class and marital status, reporting of multiple partnerships was significantly associated with smoking and with increasing levels of alcohol consumption” (Sexual Behavior in Britain). The popular “Let’s party!” approach to life exposes teenagers to careless sex, drunkenness, smoking, drug abuse and even violence.
Having sex with a number of people through your teenage years can lead to serious health problems: “Epidemiological studies indicate that the likelihood of acquiring a sexually transmitted disease increases with the number of sexual partners with whom unprotected sexual intercourse takes place & studies of cervical have shown an increased risk associated with early age at first intercourse, number of sexual partners, and smoking…
Recent abortion (in the last 5 years) was most common among those aged 16-24… possibly reflecting poor use of contraception, greater numbers of sexual partners and a higher prevalence of uncommitted relationships… Women reporting 10 or more partners in their lifetime were more than 5 times more likely to have an abortion than those who had only one partner” (Sexual Behavior in Britain).
We must draw the line here and face up to the undeniable fact that a significant number of teenagers can’t cope with sex. They are catching and spreading diseases. They are becoming pregnant. They are being forced into abortions. They are replying too heavily on condoms to prevent pregnancy. They are being led to believe there is such a thing as “safe sex”. They are being misled by screen sex. They are losing their virginity to people they don’t really love and vice versa. Too many young girls are bringing up children without fathers and stable family backgrounds. A growing number of teenagers who are told it is normal to express their sexuality often follow their emotional whims right through to the bitter end.
Some of the “progressive” opinions they are exposed to are, at best, too flexible and short-sighted – some would say irresponsible: “Change your behavior to less risky behavior,” is the curious advice from a youth magazine published in Northern Ireland, because “Sex is a very normal and healthy part of our lives” (Platform).
The unbelieving world is trying to guide teenagers into safe sex, as they choose to call it. After helping to create a self-indulgent, pleasure-seeking youth culture the world sets about trying to calm them down into a responsible attitude to sex. NO CHANCE!
Sex can be addictive and hard to control. Don’t take any risks. Discover the true and lasting value of sex in a meaningful life-long relationship. Marriage is the environment where sex is most precious and works best. The simple truth is you cannot mess with sex or treat it lightly. It has the power to damage your mind and body. It can quickly mess up your future. It can easily pollute you in ways God hates. But, through a real relationship with Christ, the Christian teenager has the power to lessen the damaging effects of sexual pressure in this modern reckless society.
Sexual immorality is sin. God is saying, “Go against the flow!”
It’s becoming increasingly difficult to define “safe sex” apart from a loving marriage commitment. Sex is not a necessity. You will not die without it now! But millions are dying and suffering because of it. Being girl less does not make you lesser. It is possible to resist present sexual trends among other teenagers you know at school, college, university, or work.
4. Masturbation
Masturbation is causing sexual sensations by touching and arousing yourself. Many people finds this subject difficult to discuss. Adults masturbate as well as teenagers. One Christian author admitted he did it himself because of his need for sexual release when he was occasionally parted from his wife. “It is a normal part of growing up” (Sex and that, by Michael Lawson and Dr. David Skip). But some consider these attitudes questionable. Should masturbation really be considered normal at any age? Sexual development is normal, but surely we must learn the right way to control and express our sexuality. Does masturbation help?
Many believe that spiritual maturity demands that only your marriage partner should stimulate you sexually. This is normal sexual behavior leading up to sexual climax. Sex is after all, considering the function of sex organs, designed for two people – a man and a woman who are fully committed to each other for life.
Some may disagree, but it’s difficult not to connect masturbation with a lack of self-control. Self-control is something all Christians should expect to see increasingly in their lives. It is the result of living a normal Christian life in the will of God by the power of His Spirit. It is our goal. We may fail, but that’s no excuse for totally giving up.
Can we seriously expect teenage masturbation not to involve sexual fantasies? And what about pornographic material? Sexually immoral thoughts are harmful and, of course, sinful. Add masturbation and the average teenager is out of control. Pornography exists because people are obsessed with sex: they pervert it and this in turn has a corruption effect on those who enjoy it. Such corruption can be very difficult to shake off. Sex is addictive.
Those who find masturbation a problem should firstly pray sincerely about it, then look at their lives to see if there are any areas that are not helpful. For example, watching television late at night will almost certainly expose you to strong sexual immorality. Allowing yourself to be tempted when surfing the Net will only draw you back again and again. Do not allow your lower nature to be stirred up. You have a new nature; you are a new creation.
Television has a growing problem with sex (and politics!) at all times of the day and night. Sex sells. Sex attracts viewers. People like to be turned on. Don’t allow yourself to be caught on the sex hook. There are a lot of frustrated people out there.
Indecent full-frontal scenes have been broadcast in the afternoon on Britain, Nigeria, America etc television, so you can imagine what gets screened at night. So-called friends who are not Christians can also cause sexual problems for Christian teenagers who are struggling to hold on to standards. Select your friends carefully and keep a check on what you watch. The same rules apply to renting out home videos and going to see a movie. You are permanently attached to a powerful set of standards and you can never leave them behind.
A word to parents: Do not assume your children are safe watching Parental Guidance films: “Parents might like to check up on it (a PG film) before showing it to their younger children. If it’s an action film it might have some violence. If it’s romantic it might have some sexy scenes or very brief nudity. It might also have some milder swear words” (official definition). So even PG films might cause you problems.
The world’s standards are slipping lower every year. Films containing immorality and swearing are sometimes promoted as family presentations. Incidentally, concerned parents should check up on schools to see what PG home videos (for home use only) and programs recorded from television are being shown to their children at special times of the year, such as Christmas and end of term. Sometimes teachers disregard the rights of parents and allow children to watch material at school Christian parents would not show at home. Parents cannot rely on the guidance of teachers. “Parental Guidance” means just that!
Also, take time to watch some of the more ‘progressive’ schools program on TV. You will be shocked at the way life and sex are portrayed, warts and all - essential biblical truths we hold dear are bulldozed out of the way. A guest on a recently screened sex education program for teenagers pointed out that a strong condom should be used during anal sex. What do your children see? What dubious opinions are they regularly exposed to? What are they reading during lessons at schools? Whose example will they follow?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Points to Ponder on Beauty
POINTS TO PONDER ON BEAUTY
- Some ladies strive for the favor of the crowd, in order words; they become unnecessary volunteers to gain this favor.
- This kind of favor is deceitful because it is so short-lived.
Today you may have excelled and gained the crowd’s favor, tomorrow you are forgotten as they find new heroes or heroine. Then you begin to feel unsatisfied and resentful.
- Beauty is vain – when your life revolves around your ego, you become lonely and empty.
- Ladies, some day you discover the truth to the old Swedish proverb, which says, “Good looks don’t last, good looking does”.
- Remember, the grass withers, the flowers fades, and surface beauty wrinkles.
- True beauty is not in the outer adoring of our body. A woman should always dress according to the truth that when a man looks at you he doesn’t misunderstand what you are.
- “But a woman that fears the Lord will be praise”
- Above all, nothing more attractive than a sweet love of Jesus emerging forth from your life.
Akintola
- Some ladies strive for the favor of the crowd, in order words; they become unnecessary volunteers to gain this favor.
- This kind of favor is deceitful because it is so short-lived.
Today you may have excelled and gained the crowd’s favor, tomorrow you are forgotten as they find new heroes or heroine. Then you begin to feel unsatisfied and resentful.
- Beauty is vain – when your life revolves around your ego, you become lonely and empty.
- Ladies, some day you discover the truth to the old Swedish proverb, which says, “Good looks don’t last, good looking does”.
- Remember, the grass withers, the flowers fades, and surface beauty wrinkles.
- True beauty is not in the outer adoring of our body. A woman should always dress according to the truth that when a man looks at you he doesn’t misunderstand what you are.
- “But a woman that fears the Lord will be praise”
- Above all, nothing more attractive than a sweet love of Jesus emerging forth from your life.
Akintola
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